…. It doesn’t exist!
Let’s face it, we will make mistakes in life. Worse still, we will make mistakes in raising our children. There is no point fighting this fact because it is bound to happen. This is simply because, being imperfect people, we cannot be perfect parents.
So, take a deep breath. I know that what I am saying is one of those truths we don’t like hearing but you and I know that that fear is all too often there…. Lingering in the back of our minds…. Haunting our thoughts and actions.
Because I am in the inner healing ministry, in some ways it is even worse for me. I am constantly faced with the depth of pain that imperfect parenting wreaks on people and I am scared to do the same. Sometimes I say something or do something to one of my children and I secretly wonder whether this is something that 15 years from now they will be sitting in front of a Sozo minister, therapist or counsellor sharing about the deep pain it caused them. 😱😅 Funny, but not; if you know what I mean.
But here’s the thing, I can’t get everything right 100% of the time. Something tells me that it is also the same for you. We need to cut ourselves some slack!
Last year the Lord ministered to me about relinquishing my quest for perfection (https://www.justasiam.ng/post/the-yoke-of-perfection). He got me to see that not only is the desire for perfection a yoke that keeps us bound, He neither desires nor expects perfection from us. As Paul put it in 2 Corinthians 12:9a:
But he answered me, God’s grace is always more than enough for us, and His power finds its full expression through our weakness.
God knew we were going to make many mistakes in life (including in raising our children) so He first sent Jesus to show us how best to effectively do this business of life and then He sent the Holy Spirit to help us live it out.
We were not meant to try and raise our children by ourselves. God is expecting us to be fully dependent on Him in our parenting journey (and everything else, for that matter), seeking His guidance and help all the way through.
And where we make mistakes, He has also already promised us that every detail of our lives and those of our children is continually woven together to fit into His perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, because we are His lovers who have been called to fulfill His designed purpose (Romans 8:28 TPT). There is therefore no mistake we can make regarding our children that Father God can’t use for their good; if we allow Him.
Let us join Paul and celebrate our weaknesses, knowing full well that when we are weak we sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in us.
So, there’s no shame in our game – let’s tell the devil to “sharaaaappp” with His accusations and lies! Let’s also continually ask the Lord to help us to raise our children to the best of our abilities and for Him to do the rest as we rest in Him.
Hand your children over to God; no really, hand them them over to Him completely! Don’t be like me that the Lord had to ask, “If you say you have handed your children over to Me then why are you dragging with me concerning their lives?” (God sef know slang! 😂😂😂). Then each day, “resume in His office” and take the parenting (and all other) instructions for the day. 😊 Don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear a voice giving you clear instructions for the day; just live the day with a consciousness that as you incline your ears, He will direct your path.
Postscript
But sha, make you still try your best o! No go dae bruise your children anyhow dae say God go rectify things! 😉😊 On a serious note, the blessings and wounds of childhood form much of who we become as adults so we must proceed accordingly. Ask God for the grace, strength and wisdom to have your thoughts, words and actions line up with His Word as you raise the children He has entrusted you with.
Reflections
- Ask Father God to show you the lies you have been believing concerning your parenting.
- Ask Him where you learnt those lies and who you need to forgive.
- Forgive.
- Hand the lies and hurt over to Father God and ask Him for His truth.
- Ask Father God to show you the areas of your parenting that He would like you to work on.
- Ask Him to show you the changes He would like you to make.
- Pray for the grace, strength and wisdom to raise your “parenting game” as instructed by the Father.
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