You want to hear, abi? š Ok, come closerā¦. Shhhh…. This one is inside gist! šš¤«
Last month marked the 15th year of my family and I moving to Nigeria; the third time I was ever stepping foot in the country.
The first time I came to Nigeria was for my father-in-lawās funeral in early 2004. I spent one week in Lagos and another week in our village, Umuokpu (or as I like to refer to it, āAwka suburbsā š) in Anambra. I hated it! By the time I was leaving, my Sierra Leonean self thought I had more in common with West Indians than Nigerians! š To use the term āculture shockā is to grossly understate how I felt. We had come with our 9-month old baby and navigating everything from the then unfamiliar heat and lack of electricity to over-bearing but well-meaning aunties was the stuff of African Magic movies.
The way I felt at the end of that trip, I would have been very okay with never again stepping foot in Nigeria! I shanāt expose myself to you the lengths I was prepared to go to not have to ever come back to Nigeria (send me a personal message for that inner inner gist š š).
All I can say is, āGod bless The Ishmaels!!ā – My God-given brother and sister š¤ šš¤š To start with, Mrs I took my husband and I out for drinks at Eko Hotel during that first trip just to cool my mind small… She did her absolute best to convince me that, contrary to what I thought, Nigeria was really not all bad. š
Anyway sha, we flew back to London after the funeral and I told God my mind: āPlease donāt send me back to that place!ā
Hereās some back story… Madam here, is the one who in her early twenties had prayed to God, āLord, you can give me a husband from anywhere in the black diaspora but just donāt give me a Nigerian. I donāt know whether Aborigines count; they are black but not of African descent. Whatever You do, please donāt give me a Nigerian husband.ā šš¾ You see, I had had some previous negative experiences with Nigerian men that had resulted in me concluding that it was best if I simply stayed out of their lane! God must have been laughing so hard. š¤£
Anyway, a few years after this heart-felt prayer I started dating āOne of Nigeriaās finestā! š (Donāt ask! Donāt judge!) Of course we had several discussions about whether we would ever come to live in Nigeria. I remember the day we had the most definitive conversation about the matter like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my then office and my fiancĆ©, as he was at the time, made it clear that he wanted to live in Nigeria. I made it equally clear that I had no desire or intention whatsoever to ever live in Nigeria. We concluded the matter with the shared view that given that we both believed God wanted us to be together, He would work it all out. A few months later, in July 2000, we walked up the aisle in faith.
So, back to returning to London in early February 2004. Our dear pastor friends took us out for dinner. We shared all our Nigeria stories with them and I remember saying that my biggest fear was that God would force me to live there against my will. Our Pastor then said something very powerful that has stuck with me to this very day. He explained that when God wants you to do something, He will also give you the desire to do it.
There commenced Godās āProject Alter Sanyadeās Willā.
At that time, I knew that, more than anything in the world, I wanted Godās will to prevail in my life. I also knew, however, that God was in the habit of having plans and desires for us that did not line up with ours. š I would start the morning praying, āLord, let Your will be done in my life. Whatever You want me to do, I will do it.ā Then by midday my back would literally go tense at the simple mention of the word āNigeriaā. No joke! The tension was real!
I knew things had started to change when you could mention Nigeria at any time of the day and it wouldnāt cause my body to respond negatively. š
Fast forward to the middle of 2005. We had had our second child a few months before and I was on maternity leave looking after two children under the age of three. I remember standing by the kitchen sink doing the washing up one evening and a thought popped into my head: Where I am from I donāt have to wash up. Maybe itās time to start making my way home. I kid you not!! Thatās how it all started. I wish I could tell you that it was something deeper and more meaningful but I canāt lie for you! š The funny thing is, I am not even a lazy person. Something just ātouched my brainā at that moment.
A few days later Mr I, who was on a trip to London from Lagos, paid us a visit. I told him how I had concluded that we needed to start heading “home” and he latched on to it. He said he had some ideas and asked me to leave it with him.
He spoke to Mrs I, who was running the financial advisory business of an investment group, and she arranged for me to be interviewed for a role in her organisation. The CEO of the group passed through London a few weeks later and I met him at Heathrow Airport for an interview. That CEO later became a brother to me but thatās a story for another day.
In about October or November of 2005 I came to Lagos for a look-see. My second time in Lagos! I loved it!! I mean, loved it!! I saw a very different side of Lagos. I had had a mental picture that working in Lagos would mean sitting in stuffy old offices with creaking metal filing cabinets. My prospective employerās office couldnāt have been further from this image. Plush glass filled offices with a most wonderful view of the ocean. The team members were correct people and, in short, my mind was scattered! š
My husband who is a lawyer had told me not to sign any contracts whilst in Nigeria. I wish I could say I was obedient. Olā boy, I signed that employment contract before boarding that plane back to London. Nothing was going to stop me from moving to Lagos!
I smile now even as I write this. Only God could take a heart so antagonistic towards Nigeria and turn it around 180 degrees in under two years. Only God! Helped along by a praying husband, I am sure. š
15 years later… any regrets? Absolutely none! Has it been an easy 15 years? Absolutely not! As you have probably worked out by now, I have many stories to tell… But in all, I have seen Godās hand and He has shown me His heart. There have been very many difficult and frustrating times. At a couple of very low moments, we have even asked ourselves whether we should return… This has only been on a couple of occasions, but it has happened. Needless to say, the answer has always been, āNo!ā. Why? Because we know that in being in Nigeria at this time, we are in the centre of Godās will for our lives. Letās face it, there can be no better place than in the very centre of His will.
Sigh….. š
Reflections
- Where is God calling you to be at this time?
- What is He calling you to do?
- If you don’t already know, ask Him.
- If you do know but aren’t there yet, what’s stopping you?
- How legitimate or immovable are those obstacles?
- What steps could you take in the near term to overcome those obstacles?
- Ask the Lord to give you the grace to fully surrender to Him and the ability to do His entire will as and when He leads.
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